After the last post, I pretty much shot my wad and had finally widdled my brain cells down to a non-functioning state. 'Crazy,' I told myself, 'it's time for a vacation.
But seriously, who the hell can afford that in these dark days of global financial thievery and a-hole debatchary? Not this girl. Until I saw this handy-dandy little article "How to Have a Stayvacation." At first I was like, 'Whuuuut? This sounds like some Martha Stewart still capitalizing on her days in the pokey kind of crap.' But it was amazing! They offered all these little ideas. So here's a quick recap of Crazypants and J-man's Stayvacation as followed by the article. Enjoy!
1.Explore your city or state.
We had an amazing two hour experience on Google Earth! Holy crap, the things you can see! Like, whether or not Mr. Future Crazypants was really at his grandma's 80th birthday (he was). Or which bar de jour Mr. Ex Crazypants was at (emailed a snapshot to his girlfriend, very important lesson on sharing for J-man). A-ma-ZING.
2. Pack up your car with lunches and discover local history.
So, after hitting the Wendy's drive-thru, we drove around town looking for some history. It's really hard to find when it's already happened, you know?
3. Get lost in your area museum or drive to a nearby one. Take time that you might not normally spend in that town.
Unfortunately, because of my extreme allergies to old things, we couldn't participate in this one.
4. Enjoy nature at a county, state or national park. Do a day hike or bike trail.
In every horror film, the black folks are the first ones to get killed by the crazy serial killer in these types of environments. We're black people. Skipped this one too.
5.Try new restaurants just like you would if you were in a new state. Try new foods that you haven't experienced before.
When I was in high school, my dad that it would be a GREAT idea to try out an Ethiopian restaraunt to "get back to our roots." So we ordered. What came out was a platter of bread that looked like a sponge with a hard-boiled egg, sauce, something that looked like it still had one eye and a hoof. That said, thought we'd play it safe with Indian food, but somehow I still ended up with a bad case of ass. Seriously, spent all night in the bathroom with my sphyncter dry-heaving and thought my ears were going to start bleeding. Horrible.
6. Stay at a nearby hotel for a night. Look for a hotel that has a pool and continental breakfast for free and is close to water parks, malls, golf courses.
Yeah, skipped this too because all I want to do is pay $125 to be around a bunch of families who think "time outs" constitute effective discpline measures and wind up in jail because I told some stranger's irritating bad ass child that if they didn't shut the hell up we were going to play a quick game of "whoop ass" and they can be assured that I was gonna win.
7. Find a campground near you and camp out for a night or two. Tell ghost stories, eat marshmallows and star gaze.
See number 4.
So, as you can see - all in all it was a pretty successful, relaxing vacation. Can't wait to do it again next year!
